While I know many people who are in the midst of grief, I
continue to be amazed and encouraged by the healing that takes place through
the passage of weeks, months, years. And while we often grow weary of days
without the one we love, we surprise ourselves with the energy and even
sometimes the enthusiasm to move forward. We never forget and we will always be
trying to grow a new heart in many ways, but life has a way of drawing us
forward—gradually. Sometimes we have to retreat and rest, especially around
birthdays and special anniversaries, but we learn to expect the movement, even
welcome it in the movement of our days.
Just how do we grow a new heart? In the movie Sleepless in
Seattle, Tom Hanks tries to begin again by moving with his young son to Seattle
after the death of his wife. But he can’t sleep. His grief moved with him. People will often sell their home, remarry
too soon, or sell their business, thinking that their heart will recover if
they change their scenery. But what happens is the broken heart is buried and
the busy-ness of new and different simply “mask” the pain. Eventually, the pain has to be acknowledged for true healing and “heart-growing” to take place.
GriefShare, an excellent video and workbook seminar,
recommends waiting a full year before any changes are made in one’s lifestyle
after the death of a loved one. A full year gives time for one to experience
the grief process, discovering that as time goes by, thinking is clearer and
decisions can be made that are more rational and realistic.
Growing a new heart takes time and patience. And on those
days when you feel the steady beating, you can give thanks and praise to God
for giving you life and breath. Breathe today and feel God’s presence.
“Breath on me, Breath
of God, Fill me with life anew,
That I may love what
Thou dost love and do what Thou wouldst do.”
(Robert Jackson)
