Giving In To Our Grief

When the moment of death comes for someone we love, we should give in to the moment. By that I mean we should take off our watch, put down our phone, gather round those closest and just simply "be" in the sorrow of our grief. Cry. Comfort each other. Pray, trusting God will give you His peace that comforts like nothing else.

Coming to terms with death takes time to process. Even when we know it is imminent and we wait through the night and into the morning, the final breath of a loved one jolts our heart, makes it stop beating - or so it feels.  We need time to process this reality of death. We need time to tend to our jolted and broken heart.

It is a time when no words are needed. It is a time when the strident sound of words crush our spirit and seem  insignificant. It is a time to "be still and know that I am God." There just are no words to describe the depth of emotion felt in the moment a loved one dies.

Maybe it is a sacred longing that God infuses into our spirits. A longing that recognizes the truth that this life is short and only a prelude to the concert that awaits us in Heaven. A longing for things to be made right. God, according to Ezekiel 18:32, says, "I take no pleasure in the death of anyone." God hates the isolated incidents of disease, crime, or violence - anything leading to death. God hates death.  God knows more than we do and is working "according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will." ((Ephesians 1:11)

As we give into our grief, we can enter a time of quiet mourning:
-we can know that God is working all things -  even the death of a loved one- for his ultimate glory.
-we can listen for God's still, small voice to guide us through the valley
-we can trust that joy will come, maybe not tomorrow morning, but joy will return
-we can be gentle to those around us who have little or no faith in God
-we can pray knowing God is close to us, the broken-hearted and crushed in spirit
-we can grow in our knowledge and understanding of God's grace and his mercy

We are still broken-hearted , but we have God with us, and that is when healing comes.

Small Signs of God - Day 26 Peace

 

Pondering The Path of Peace

 

They said we might have snow on Christmas Day!  Oh how I love a good snow.  The magic of quiet snow falling during Christmas - oh, just the thought of it takes me back remembering Christmases in Kentucky on my snow-covered hill – the wonder, the beauty, the silence. 

It can happen anywhere that the heart makes room.

In January of 2008 Atlanta was covered in a beautiful blanket of snow.  I couldn’t resist but to take a few pictures in the garden that now looked so fresh and new even in the bleak of our winter of great sadness.  St. Francis looked especially peaceful and content with a white cap warming his head.  His presence standing strong there in the garden offered me a new appreciation for the man who gave up all of his worldly goods to be an instrument of peace during his life.

After visiting his birthplace and the city for which he is named, I came home and disciplined myself to memorize one of his prayers – maybe the one for which he is most remembered.  Let’s see if I can say it for you:

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

 What strikes me today is that in the first line, the prayer asks the Lord to make me an instrument of HIS peace.  I may not ever find my own peace and that is what we ponder so much, trying to make sense of life and its ups and downs.  But I can, in the midst of pondering offer to be used – to be an instrument of God’s peace – the peace that we seldom understand, but that we have been freely given through the one who came at Christmas.

Jesus said in John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you: my peace I give you.  I do not give as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

I confess that I am not always the peacemaker.  I do not always sow love, pardon, faith, or hope.  Sometimes I am dark and sometimes I am sad and lonely even though my home is filled with abundance.  That’s why I have memorized the prayer and it is amazing the times during the day when the words come to remind me “sow hope, sow love, understand, pardon.”

 Peace.

I know that Christ wants to infuse peace into all of us.  He said so.  His peace.  Not the peace of a quiet snowfall.  Not the peace of singing Silent Night holding a candle. But the opening of our souls to receive Him in our hearts – to take on his characteristics of love and forgiveness, of  gentleness and hope and of purpose.  But in this age of “it’s all about me” we find it hard to acknowledge our utter neediness and we simply just don’t need Jesus – or very much of him.   

This Season of Epiphany, open yourself to receive the peace that Jesus brings –now, from eternity past, and forevermore.  And in return, offer yourself as an instrument of that kind of peace.  

Knowing peace is the gift above all gifts. 

Small Signs of God - Day 25 A Child's Birth

 

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." (Luke 2:11)

The powerful silence of Christmas morning says "Peace, I am here." 

I smile and rest in that knowledge. Somehow, the world, in spite of great turmoil,  rests as well. Even as the day comes alive, people are kinder, quieter with the knowledge that today....today, something is different. 

I feel it.

Maybe because I believe it. I believe that peace begins with me. I believe angels sing and stars dance. I believe in Wise Men and a virgin birth. I believe Jesus is the coming of God to earth. I believe He will come again.  Today is Christmas and I welcome it and I reread the story:

^"This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. ²⁵ But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus." (Matthew 1:18-25)

"Christmas is saying 'yes' to something beyond all emotions and feelings. 

Christmas is saying "yes" to a hope based on God's initiative, which has nothing to do with what I think or feel. 

Christmas is believing that the salvation of the world is God's work and not mine. 

Things will never look just right or feel just right. If they did, someone would be lying...But it is into this broken world that a child is born who is called Son of the Most High, Prince of Peace, Savior."(Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak)

Savior who has been born to us,

              draw us to you this day and all days

                  until we see you face to face.

Small Signs of God - Day 24 Journey

 

                                December 24

Christmas Eve. A day to celebrate our journey of Advent. Even before getting out of bed, the gift of the train's whistle arrived through the quiet winter air calling me, saying, "Get ready. The journey is complete. Just get on board. Just thank the Lord."

It seems everything I read this morning has the theme of the journey. Wise men traveling their slow journey across the desert.  Shepherds following a star. Family members arriving to be welcomed home. And we, too,  have traveled together, writing and reading, as our hearts have journeyed to prepare for this Coming - this Advent. And I must ask myself as you must, "Am I different this year?"

Listen to Henri Nouwen's thoughts:

"God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, and to help us realize that we are not walking in circles but moving towards the house of peace and joy. This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation: we are not alone on our journey. The God of love who gave us life sent us his only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that he walks with us...

Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and let him - whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend - be our companion."  (Gracias! A Latin American Journal)

I love the thought of Jesus walking with us on our life journey. I love the idea that this is our greatest gift - a gift of love offered freely to all who will receive it. I love this annual "renewed invitation" for opening the gift again, receiving it with greater acceptance and deeper humility with each passing year.

As with any journey, we must gather up our traveling things and prepare for our destination. Today, tonight, let us make room for this wondrous event. Let us witness angels singing and stars dancing in the night sky.

"Into this silent night

as we make our weary way

we know not where,

just when the night becomes its darkest

and we cannot see our path,

just then

is when the angels rush in,

their hands full of stars."

(Ann Weems, Kneeling in Bethlehem)

Jesus Is Here To Stay

 

December 23rd

"I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."                                    Matthew 28:20

 

This morning, I sit by the tree that has adorned my living room for three short weeks. I light some candles and sit in this peaceful spot of quiet and greenery and flickering light. I want the clock to stop. I want this season of Advent to stay.

Our Advent journey of preparation is almost complete. 

It is getting quiet. There is less traffic.  Parties are over. The air is still.  Travelers are headed home for the holiday. Wrapped presents wait to be opened. The stores are showing signs of change, preparing for the "after Christmas" sale. 

Time - almost -  to clean up and put away until next year. Time to be still and know that  even as the signs of the season will one by one disappear, Jesus is here to stay.

Christmas is the first lesson of faith. Advent is the beginning of the Christian year. Soon we will be considering Lent. We will leave Jesus in the manger and follow him into his very brief three-year ministry and walk with Him to the cross and resurrection. And we will again acknowledge that as that season comes and goes, Jesus is still here to stay.

Month by month, we will move through our new year and be reminded through spring, summer and fall that life moves and we move with it. We will say good-bye to some we love. We will experience illnesses and trials of varying sorts. We will make mistakes. We will celebrate.  We will laugh and we will cry. We will ask "why" and retreat at times to ponder things too hard to understand. We will have to work to remind ourselves that Jesus is still here to stay.

Oswald Chambers says, "We mistake the joy of our first introduction into God's kingdom as His purpose for getting us there. Yet God's purpose in getting us into His kingdom is that we may realize all that identification with Jesus Christ means." (My Utmost for His Highest, December 23) 

And so when the twinkling stars are shielded by clouds and singing angels cannot be heard, we will know they are there - somewhere. Because we trust in the One who came that night in Bethlehem. We study and search and continue to learn to trust this amazing truth - Jesus is here to stay.

Emmanuel, you are with us and you are here to stay. Can I say that of any other earthly thing? But, of course, you are not earthly - you are God .

Small Signs of God - Day 22 The Innkeeper

 

Small Signs of God - The Innkeeper #22

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me." (Revelation 3:20)

We were traveling in Maine and it was late and we were tired and hungry. When the innkeeper opened the door, I knew it was where I wanted my family to spend the night.  It was clean and inviting and  good smells were coming from the kitchen. 

But the innkeeper said, "I'm sorry, we are full tonight."

 She must have seen the disappointment in my face. As we turned away, she called, "Wait, I do have one room that might work. Your children are small and it is late."  We accepted quickly, thinking we could all sleep on the floor if we could just have a little space for the night.  She said to go get dinner and when we returned the room would be ready.

Pleased at our good fortune, we returned to find a "room for two that sleeps five." The door opened and we walked into a sight for tired eyes. It was basic with one bed. But on the floor were three small "beds" that had been created out of cushions, pillows and quilts.  The sheets were folded back, holding small stuffed animals waiting for three sleepy new friends.

The innkeeper in the Nativity often gets looked down upon, but there was something in his heart that made him stop and reconsider. Maybe he saw the tired weary couple and was moved to help. Those were common people and that was the way babies were born in Bethlehem. 

Surely there was a spot for Jesus. 

Basic warmth and safety could set the stage for surprise visits of angels singing and stars dancing.

This Advent, I wonder what kind of innkeeper I am. Can I find room for others? Or will I turn them away? Can I be creative in "making do" when I don't have enough beds, enough time, enough money, enough energy or patience? Can I go beyond the basics of warmth and shelter to offer pure hospitality and love with a few dancing stars as a perk?

Jesus is looking for hearts that will open the door to make room for him this Christmas.

 Like Joseph, He must be so weary of knocking on hard-to-open doors, 

just hoping this year, there might be a small place for him to rest his head.

 Would it be in your heart? 

Do you hear Him knocking? 

What will you say?

Everlasting Father,

 Yes, there is room this Advent. Enter my heart and I, too, will hear angels sing.

Small Signs of God - Day 21 Valleys and Mountains

 

Valleys and Mountains

 

 ⁴ As it is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet:

  “A voice of one calling in the wilderness,
      ‘Prepare the way for the Lord,
   make straight paths for him.
⁵ Every valley shall be filled in,
   every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight,
   the rough ways smooth.
⁶ And all people will see God’s salvation. ( Luke 3:4-6.)

 

The meltdown came.

 I thought I had done everything so perfect this Advent. I had slowed down and made time for true worship. I had kept my home modestly adorned and in order. I had given to the poor and served the needy. I had baked the family favorites, seen the people I love and filled the birdfeeders with a Christmas blend.  And yet, hot tears came streaming down my face at the kitchen sink - somewhere between blending the pate and mixing the fruitcake.  I couldn't identify their source. 

Was it brokenness or was it sheer Christmas joy?

My husband suggested I think in terms of an investment article he had read earlier about  Aristotle (my husband reads Aristotle?) and his ancient theory of The Golden Mean. The Golden Mean is defined as " the desirable middle between two extremes, one of deficiency and the other of excess."

My Advent focus took me from Aristotle directly to Jesus who came right in the middle of the history of time. The world had been deficient, struggling, looking for the One who would set the world straight. 

And that night, 2000 years ago, God's "Golden Mean" arrived. And since He came, that same world paused and wondered for a night, and since has gone on looking, unsatisfied and excessive.

I ask you - how deep are your valleys this Christmas? 

My valleys are deep. But my mountains are just as high. 

My life spills over with the fullness of life - 

gathering and giving, 

embracing and letting go.

 It is what Solomon talks about in Ecclesiastes. A time for everything. 

And then, one day...one day it will all be straightened and made smooth.

 

Great God who sets my world straight, I rest in your promises . Help me to prepare the way....