Today is her birthday. Today she would be 32 years old. Today we would do something fun to celebrate. I have already received a few calls and texts from those who loved her. The morning devotionals have reflected meaning to my soul and strengthened me. Healed me. Encouraged me.
And I want to encourage you along this grief journey. My daughter died five years ago. Every year, while seeming long and short at the same time, have collectively provided healing power. Time heals our pain and fortifies us with the knowledge that we are in fact, still breathing, still functioning to some degree, still eating and sleeping with the full knowledge that our loved one is gone from this life. Gone from our touch, gone from enjoying birthday cake, gone from daily sharing of this life.
I came to this realization profoudly these last few months. My son married a beautiful young woman last week and we have celebrated and rejoiced with the full awareness of an absent daughter and sister. I don't think there was ever a tear of sorrow remembering her. Our youngest daughter proposed a lovely toast to the bride and groom and she acknowledged - out loud - that yes, she had lost her sister five years ago, but with this marriage, she affirmed the new addition of a new sister - and not just one, but the two sisters of the bride as well. My daughter's bravery of standing in front of 50 people and acknowledging what many had on their hearts was just another affirmation of the healing power of time. Our minister once said to give your problems and pain a name and once you do that, you will be able to deal with your hurt. I am so grateful my daughter had the courage to do what I could have never done. Well said, Blair.
Where are you in your grief journey? Where are you in your sorrow and suffering? My friend just crossed over the two-year anniversary of her son. Still so fresh. Still so hard to believe. Another friend just lost his wife. Five months. He says he is trying to stay busy but finds himself utterly distracted most of the time. So normal for grief. And today my friends are weeping over fresh loss of a mother, grandmother, and friend. The husband has thanked God for giving them sever years to enjoy marriages and grandchildren.
I know after five years that gratitude is a powerful medicine for grieving a loss. I, too, am grateful I had 27 (short) years with Megan. I am grateful we loved each other and cherished our years together. And today, on her birthday I am grateful I can prepare a birthday dinner and light candles on a birthday cake. And those around the table will celebrate life and love and friendship, right there along with loss and pain and grief.
It is how we move through and find our way. And God's presence is the light for our path.
2 comments:
Remembering my friend who birthed her first child 32 years ago today. The beautiful, healthy perfect baby girl was long awaited and proved to be exceptional ~ bright, talented, sweet, hard working, loving...very much just like her mother!
Thank you, my precious friend. And you were right there, tying balloons on the mailbox, celebrating that new beautiful life. We are blessed beyond measure. I love you.
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