It was four years ago tomorrow, September 12, 2008, my oldest daughter died from a rare, neurological disease. I thought I was moving through my grief at a modest pace--knowing that it is different for every person. I had lots of time to be alone, to write, to talk it through with family and friends. I thought maybe...just maybe I was coming through the darkness.
But as spring turned to summer, I sensed a dread in my soul. I had no energy and needed more sleep. I didn't want to be with my dearest friends. Crying came easily and often. As the pattern continued, I wondered if I was relapsing into some depression...or even worse, wondered if I had ever gone through what I was supposed to have gone through four years ago.
I will tell you I made it through that darkness, but I know I am on a grief journey that will probably last as long as I
live. I plan to move along, finding my way, getting lost and then found
again - over and over. But I know I must go deeper now, learning more about grief and why we are so different in this process of suffering. I must learn how some people go on a fast journey and others never begin their healing. I want to heal.
So how is it for you? Obviously, you are visiting this grief site because you are grieving or you know someone who is grieving. Isn't that all of us? Maybe you just need a grief friend. I can be that for you. We can "talk grief." If you have lost a person you loved, we speak the same language.
I invite you to come on this journey with me. Don't be afraid. I will share my story of loss, hope, and faith, revisiting that first year after my loss. I hope it will help you.Together we will heal. Together we will be stronger.
"Words fitly spoken are things of beauty and power that bring life and joy." Dallas Willard "I write to discover what I know." Flannery O'Connor "I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn." --Anne Frank' "Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." ― Rainer Maria Rilke
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Who will Go with Me?
Labels:
darkness,
death,
death of a child,
depression,
faith,
Grief,
grief journey,
healing,
hope,
loss,
rare diseases,
suffering,
trust
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6 comments:
Praying for you sweet friend! I'm going through my own sort of grief, as my mom drifts farther and farther away from the person she once was. Alzhiemer's, I believe, has been referred to as a slow death. And one day it will take her life.
Bless you Marcia!
Love ~ Danie
Thanks for finding me, Danie. Yes, it is a slow death,like Megan's was. As you said, you can begin the process now of grieving.
Marcia,
Thank you for your transparency! I see in you a pure heart dear friend, and I know you will never give up on God's mercy and grace in their fullness.
Praying for you today especially bc of the anniversary of losing Megan and also for your new adventure.
This was a wonderful blog and I hope to see more like it!
Much love,
Kimberly
Marcia, thank you for your faithfulness to follow the path God has laid out and the door He is opening for you. Your blog is so needed! I'm sharing it today for those who are new to the journey, and those who've been traveling for a while.
Blessings to you and your new ministry!
Thank you, Roomie! It is a steep learning curve (blogging on top of grieving) but here we go. I will be in touch soon.
Thank you, my friend and teacher. I so appreciate your encouragement.
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